{"id":166,"date":"2016-02-01T14:56:00","date_gmt":"2016-02-01T14:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/"},"modified":"2016-02-01T14:56:00","modified_gmt":"2016-02-01T14:56:00","slug":"keeping-it-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/","title":{"rendered":"Keeping it real"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

January 22, 2016<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I am riddled with discouragement.  <\/span>There are so many things that I\u2019d like to do and I would be satisfied with only doing one or two; but right now it\u2019s challenge enough to get food in my body and maintain some level of personal hygiene.  <\/span>That is in the waking hours.  <\/span>Sleep remains the other challenge.  <\/span>It was hard to get myself out of bed this morning; yet I knew that if I did not do so I would not get these 20 minutes to myself.  <\/span>Some evenings I get an hour to myself, maybe 1 and \u00bd if I short cut my sleep.  <\/span>But last night it was 0 minutes.  <\/span>The twins fussed and needed reassurance to fall asleep and Rayna rises in the ridiculous hours of 5AM<\/st1:time>.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I want to start working towards fitness.  <\/span>I had wanted to work towards the Whistler marathon; however, now I would be happy to have any level of running.  <\/span>I tried to start running but my body screamed at me. I need to reestablish strength to my core and stretch these achy hips.  <\/span>But when?  <\/span>I scream WHEN?  <\/span>I would gladly go to a yoga class; but do I pay $15 and risk Allison crying her head off and maybe Garrett fussing too?<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I want to get rid of these thank you cards that eat at me everyday.  <\/span>I want to send them out so that those who blessed us will know that I appreciated it.  <\/span>I want to finish this so that it is done, complete, doesn\u2019t nag on me on a daily basis.  <\/span>But, when I sit down to address some I usually am able to accomplish one before I am needed elsewhere.  <\/span>And so they sit there as a reminder that I can get nothing done.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I feel alienated.  <\/span>I want to see friends.  <\/span>Heck, I want to actually talk to my husband.  <\/span>To feel like I\u2019m in a marriage.  <\/span>But how do I even start to do that?  <\/span>Certainly not out of my home?  <\/span>I have had a few lovely visits; but oh how sparse they\u2019ve been and never without being \u201con-call\u201d for my children.  <\/span>And it does not appear that escaping is on the horizon.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I do not feel human.  <\/span>I feel like a machine.  <\/span>A machine that is seriously lacking its regular maintenance.  <\/span>I feel like I am going to malfunction.  <\/span>I do not know how to stop this from happening.  <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

How do I become human again?  <\/span>How, do I have the joy that I\u2019ve set out in this journey trying to find on a daily basis in some way?  <\/span>How do I find moments of beauty?<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I suppose in the meltdown that seems to be happening within I see that I am human.  <\/span>I am so limited.  <\/span>I am being pushed to the edge and feel uncertain that I can remain whole.  <\/span>Yet, God asks us to come broken.  <\/span>It is easier to shape pieces.  <\/span>So shape me God.  <\/span>I don\u2019t know how I can stay sane in the reality of life right now, so show me how you will do it for me.  <\/span>Give me health: mental, emotional, relational, spiritual and physical health.  <\/span>And grant me wisdom, patience, love, tenacity and the power to thrive in these crazy days.  <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/b><\/i><\/u><\/sub><\/sup><\/strike><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

January 22, 2016 I am riddled with discouragement.  There are so many things that I\u2019d like to do and I would be satisfied with only doing one or two; but right now it\u2019s challenge enough […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nKeeping it real - Cheryl Rostek<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Keeping it real - Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"January 22, 2016 I am riddled with discouragement.  There are so many things that I\u2019d like to do and I would be satisfied with only doing one or two; but right now it\u2019s challenge enough […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/authorcherylrostek\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-02-01T14:56:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Cheryl Rostek\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ddb3d653ca2f4b6dcfad77892f0d630a\"},\"headline\":\"Keeping it real\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-02-01T14:56:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":590,\"commentCount\":0,\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/\",\"name\":\"Keeping it real - Cheryl Rostek\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-02-01T14:56:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ddb3d653ca2f4b6dcfad77892f0d630a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2016\\\/02\\\/01\\\/keeping-it-real\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Keeping it real\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Cheryl Rostek - Glioblastoma Survivor, Author and Cancer Coach\",\"description\":\"Finding Hope in the Hopeless and Impossible Situations of Life\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ddb3d653ca2f4b6dcfad77892f0d630a\",\"name\":\"Cheryl Rostek\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Cheryl Rostek\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Keeping it real - Cheryl Rostek","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Keeping it real - Cheryl Rostek","og_description":"January 22, 2016 I am riddled with discouragement.  There are so many things that I\u2019d like to do and I would be satisfied with only doing one or two; but right now it\u2019s challenge enough […]","og_url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/","og_site_name":"Cheryl Rostek","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/authorcherylrostek\/","article_published_time":"2016-02-01T14:56:00+00:00","author":"Cheryl Rostek","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Cheryl Rostek","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/"},"author":{"name":"Cheryl Rostek","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ddb3d653ca2f4b6dcfad77892f0d630a"},"headline":"Keeping it real","datePublished":"2016-02-01T14:56:00+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/"},"wordCount":590,"commentCount":0,"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/","url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/","name":"Keeping it real - Cheryl Rostek","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-02-01T14:56:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ddb3d653ca2f4b6dcfad77892f0d630a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/01\/keeping-it-real\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Keeping it real"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/","name":"Cheryl Rostek - Glioblastoma Survivor, Author and Cancer Coach","description":"Finding Hope in the Hopeless and Impossible Situations of Life","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ddb3d653ca2f4b6dcfad77892f0d630a","name":"Cheryl Rostek","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Cheryl Rostek"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}