{"id":75,"date":"2018-05-04T20:16:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-04T20:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2018\/05\/04\/the-forgotten-battle\/"},"modified":"2018-05-04T20:16:00","modified_gmt":"2018-05-04T20:16:00","slug":"the-forgotten-battle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2018\/05\/04\/the-forgotten-battle\/","title":{"rendered":"The Forgotten Battle"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

 Really, this is not my story to tell; but, because I feel this story is not being told I will take this opportunity to share what I see from the outside.  And I ask you to please listen, please see, please hear and support; because, behind every patient is a care-giver, a partner, a loved one.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
She<\/o:p><\/b><\/div>\n
She is the cancer patient and she is seen so clearly.  <\/span>She is doted on, celebrated, adorned.  <\/span>She is championed and bolstered.  <\/span>She is highlighted and praised for her bravery. She is thankful, so thankful for this but please see him\u2026 <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
He<\/b><\/div>\n
He is the caregiver.  <\/span>See him.  <\/span>He is the partner, the spouse.  <\/span>See him.  <\/span>He is the one who is left to process what life may look like if his loved one dies.  <\/span>See him.  <\/span>See him and give pause here.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Give much pause here because he gives much pause here, without notice.  <\/span><\/div>\n
Please notice.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Them<\/o:p><\/b><\/div>\n
 <\/span>As long as she, the patient, is alive the spotlight shines bright on her.  <\/span>The loved ones, the supporters, the caregivers get lost in the struggle of attending the needs of her, the sick one.  <\/span>Her needs are urgent and beckon immediate attention\u2026..<\/div>\n
Amongst the busy commotion is him.  <\/span>He is left to contemplate a life of single-fatherhood to a young and oh so needy family.  <\/span>He is left to at the same time contemplate a life of losing a lover.  <\/span>And it is gut-wrenching for me to think of.  <\/span>But he is living this!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
She is lavished with words and gifts and overt love.  <\/span>He gets the left-overs.  <\/span>And at the same time he is called to be strong for her, because she is the sick one.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The <\/b>Battle<\/b><\/st1:place><\/st1:city><\/div>\n
It\u2019s like he is in the battle, just as she is: but without armor.  <\/span>Without reinforcements.  <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
(The attention for him comes only after she dies and she is no longer there to steal the spotlight.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And by then, he\u2019s so worn out and battered —remember he had no armor.)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
My petition<\/o:p><\/b><\/div>\n
I suppose this is my petition.  <\/span>Do not forget him.  <\/span>In general terms do not forget the caregiver, the spouse.  <\/span>In specific terms.  <\/span>Do not forget Ryan.  <\/span>Please, however my battle unfolds do not forget my husband, I beg you.  <\/span>As I needed SO much through that first year I was blind to \u201cthe forgotten battle\u201d, Ryan\u2019s battle.  <\/span>I was blind to the exhaustion and drain and stress of his situation.  <\/span>And now as I see glimpses of the forgotten battle I am compelled to announce it.  <\/span>As I fiercely love my husband and also know that my kids desperately need a healthy father, I ask you: Remember Ryan.  <\/span>Remember him in your prayers and in your encouragement.  <\/span>See him and all that he is doing!  <\/span>And when I can no longer ask and when so much is demanded for my care, don\u2019t forget him.  <\/span>Please don\u2019t forget him.<\/b>  <\/span>As he loves on me, love on him.  <\/span>(remember, he\u2019s a man, he probably won\u2019t even realize what he needs  <\/span>— take a look and if you see a need ask if you can fill it.)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And Thank You.  <\/span>My utmost and sincere gratitude and thanks.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I\u2019ve been given the unique situation of being a patient with a grave disease who still has her voice.  <\/span>This is a gift.  <\/span>With this gift I\u2019ve been given I want to say with my \u201cpatient\u2019s heart\u201d to all those lost in the forgotten battle, Thank you.  <\/span>Thank you, thank you, thank you.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
As I mentioned, I really feel this is not my story to tell.  <\/span>So when caregivers speak up, when people voice their forgotten battles, listen.  <\/span>We need to hear their stories.  <\/span>They comprise the rich other half of the survivors\u2019 stories.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And thank you Ryan, for warring beside me with all your might.  <\/span>There\u2019s no one else I\u2019d rather be in battle beside.  <\/span>I love you.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 Really, this is not my story to tell; but, because I feel this story is not being told I will take this opportunity to share what I see from the outside.  And I ask you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Forgotten Battle - Cheryl Rostek<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2018\/05\/04\/the-forgotten-battle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Forgotten Battle - Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\" Really, this is not my story to tell; 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