Today I am working on writing my cancer journey memoir. Since 4 years ago today my neurosurgeon removed the tumor from my brain that would later be diagnosed as glioblastoma, I decided to edit this portion of my book.\u00a0 I am excited to share the following SNEAK PEEK of this portion of my memoir with you, below!!!!!<\/p>\n
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I held my baby boy at my breast that early morning one last precious time.\u00a0 We were alone in my dark walk-in closet, his make-shift bedroom that I often had bemoaned – his cries so close to my sleeping head, never letting me get enough rest. I was surprised he had not woken from the commotion of us getting ready.\u00a0 This boy who loved to smile, laugh and wake up oh so early lay peacefully fast asleep, zipped cozy in his sleep sack. \u00a0 On an average day I would have been so thankfully pleased that he was still asleep.\u00a0 But today was far from average. \u00a0 In this sleepy monumental moment in this closet, I reached into Garrett\u2019s bed and picked up his warm body.\u00a0 I sat on the carpeted floor sort of cross-legged, one leg propped up, my back awkwardly hunched in this familiar position as I held my boy, my son, my legacy, tenderly to my full breasts. I stroked his blonde hair fondly as he nursed. I was always grateful during early morning wake-ups that I could breastfeed and didn\u2019t need to warm a bottle.\u00a0 This day I was also grateful that, though the tumor pressing on my brain meant I couldn\u2019t care for this boy by myself, nor could I type or handwrite words of love for him, one last time my broken body could still nourish his body.\u00a0 <\/span>Perhaps<\/span>, I thought, <\/span>the most tender moment a mother can have with her son is nurturing him with her own body. <\/span>His warmth comforted me, so I lingered even once he stopped suckling.\u00a0 This was the last moment I would ever breastfeed; but, I had no time to ponder those emotions. It was only days later, when I was recovering from my brain surgery and my breasts turned strangely and uncomfortably lumpy, that I fully contemplated how this tumor forced my hand to wean my babies.\u00a0 Instead I kissed my son\u2019s head.\u00a0 My son who often left me exhausted, exacerbated and at the edge of myself.\u00a0 My son who now teaches me what it is like to simultaneously be tender-hearted and so very strong. My son who I love with my whole heart.\u00a0 My son who I want to see grow up, who I want to cheer on in whatever athletic endeavor he might pursue.\u00a0 My son, who I will <\/span>never <\/span>stop cheering for and fighting for.\u00a0 I kissed this sweet boy one more time quickly on the forehead before being whisked away to have my own head cut open.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thank you for joining me on my journey!\u00a0 Keep following on my website, facebook and instagram for further updates, it’s really starting to feel like one day soon I’ll actually be able to hold this memoir in my hands!<\/p>\n XOXO, <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today I am working on writing my cancer journey memoir. Since 4 years ago today my neurosurgeon removed the tumor from my brain that would later be diagnosed as glioblastoma, I decided to edit this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":845,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cancer-journey","category-motherhood"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nCheryl<\/p>\n