{"id":935,"date":"2021-07-24T10:24:52","date_gmt":"2021-07-24T17:24:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/?p=935"},"modified":"2021-07-24T10:24:52","modified_gmt":"2021-07-24T17:24:52","slug":"mri-results-appointment-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2021\/07\/24\/mri-results-appointment-day\/","title":{"rendered":"MRI Results: Appointment Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m unsettled this morning, waiting for my afternoon oncologist appointment.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don’t tell me I shouldn’t be terrified of hearing my MRI results today. I am terrified.<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ve been making granola for an hour but I just can’t seem to focus; so far all I’ve done is measure oats into the bowl.<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m a crumpling weepy mess and at the same time I’m burying myself in busyness. I have to hold my tongue because I know snippy words are just beneath the surface- rooted in my internal (and often subconscious) banter.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am terrified because fear is normal.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s okay to feel afraid.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi, fear.<\/span><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

But,<\/span><\/p>\n

Deep breath<\/span><\/p>\n

I am brave. Let me say that again so I believe it. I am brave.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi, courage.<\/span><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today I look fear in the eyes and say, step aside, I have a life to live.<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless, I feel humbled. Glioblastoma, brain cancer has a way of doing that- showing my humbled humanness.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi, humbled human.<\/span><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

My favorite scripture this past year says the humbled will see the kingdom of heaven. I need some kingdom of heaven in my life today.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I raise my chin and speak:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi, kingdom of heaven, ple<\/span>ase show yourself to me today.<\/span><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

As the piano bangs in the background with two five year old belting out indecipherable words I notice the blankets and books and stuffies scattering my living room floor and I’m distracted by thoughts of my toilets that are starting to stink.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wonder if maybe messes are made marvelous in moments like this- moments when it is clear that life is\u00a0 (very loudly) being lived.<\/span><\/p>\n

Though my little angels’ voices are far from heavenly (see evidence on social media, lol). I think heaven on earth is this m\u00e9lange: life and love and grace swirled in the messiness, right at my fingertips, right underfoot,<\/span><\/p>\n

My heart knows this to be true when I’m still enough to listen; being humbled is okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

Exhale.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now, Please excuse me, I have some children to kiss and some granola to make.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

xo,
\n<\/span>Cheryl<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PS. MRI Results<\/span><\/h3>\n

My MRI results, disclosed later in the day, showed no tumor growth, which means I continue to be stable and in remission! I’m living the miraculous dream: heading towards being a 5 year glioblastoma survivor this fall. A place that sadly less than 5% of glioblastoma survivors reach.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, apparently I missed Glioblastoma Awareness Day<\/strong> this week. Please, mention this disease to people you know to spread awareness!!!<\/strong> Little progress has been made in treatment of Glioblastoma in the past 2 decades, much more awareness and research is needed!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

May August be filled with many sunny and smiling days for you and your loved ones. xo<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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