{"id":971,"date":"2022-04-22T12:49:26","date_gmt":"2022-04-22T19:49:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/?p=971"},"modified":"2022-04-22T12:49:26","modified_gmt":"2022-04-22T19:49:26","slug":"after-cancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/","title":{"rendered":"“After” Cancer"},"content":{"rendered":"

Introduction<\/span><\/h2>\n

Hello, blogreaders, oh how I\u2019ve missed you! It\u2019s so nice to spend some time together again, and boy do I have a treat for you today: reflections from writing my memoir, a memoir excerpt, and a list of books that have been super helpful for me lately. Thanks for joining me, here we go!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter\u201d cancer<\/span><\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve been busy, busy, busy working on my memoir, who knew it was SO MUCH WORK to write a memoir?! (if you did, I’m glad you didn\u2019t tell me before I started!) I\u2019ve structured my book into three sections: before cancer, cancer, and \u201cafter\u201d cancer. As I was editing the \u201cafter\u201d cancer section I began finding its subtitle problematic. Even with quotations, it seemed to imply that when treatment was complete, cancer was in the past. I realized that there is no \u201cafter cancer\u201d. That would absurdly suggest that time can fully erase the torrential anguish of the disease. Nope, all that\u2019s left after cancer, or anything laden with widespread destruction for that matter, is its <\/span>aftermath.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

The Aftermath<\/span><\/h2>\n

Cancer\u2019s aftermath is where we must reimagine the future. We must be clear-headed enough to view this as a great opportunity (in no way romanticizing cancer, nor wishing this disease on anyone, but with a growth mindset looking at lessons learned from the experience and using them creatively to forge ahead). When the anguish gives way to disappointment we must rise to what\u2019s in front of us, grieving the past, grieving our losses, but not letting that define what is yet ahead. To be clear, I\u2019m not talking about toxic positivity, nor about touting <\/span>the best is yet to come<\/span><\/i> when that really doesn\u2019t look to be the case. I\u2019m talking about holding on to faith that we will prevail in the end, but that prevailing may look much different than we thought before our lives were upheaved.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Surrender<\/span><\/h2>\n

We must surrender to a new way of being, living, and thinking. This surrender is not giving up. Oh no, it\u2019s not at all giving up; it\u2019s an adapting and an evolving to life\u2019s new circumstances. So that no matter what, no matter where life takes us, we\u2019re in the business of living – not dying.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/h2>\n
\n

\u201cLove empowers us to live fully and die well. Death becomes, then, not an end to life but a part of living.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Bell hooks, All About Love<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Joy<\/span><\/h2>\n

I read the following a couple years ago in Brene Brown\u2019s book, Dare to Lead: <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cJoy comes to us in moments\u2014ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0This is finally starting to sink in and pierce through my perfectionism. These days I am finding life in the little joyous things, like delighting with my kids about the \u201crainbow soap\u201d speckling our sunroof as we drive through the carwash. (Yep, in case you\u2019re wondering, that\u2019s what the image for this post is!). Little joyous delights are all around, if only I keep my eyes open and my heart soft.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Memoir excerpt<\/span><\/h2>\n

In my memoir I write about a key moment when my daughter walked into the living room dancing with a dandelion crown atop her head (You may remember a blogpost about this years past, if not you\u2019ll have to wait for my memoir, for the full story;) In that moment I learned this:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLife I was beginning to see, was one detour after the other\u2026from having twins, unexpectedly, to receiving a cancer diagnosis. If I kept rushing, rushing, rushing to get through life\u2019s detours\u2026I was going to miss out on most of my life. I had been in the habit of hurrying to moments of no lasting significance and rushing through times of great lasting value\u2026In my want for different circumstances, I had been missing out on the life that I had. With my days numbered I wanted to start <\/span>living <\/span><\/i>wherever I was.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wishing you all many mini moments of ordinary joy wherever life finds you.<\/span><\/p>\n

xo
\n<\/span>Cheryl\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As promised my recommended Reading List:<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything<\/span><\/i> that Brene Brown has written!<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  • Brene has transformed my life. She\u2019s my hero (who I dream of meeting one day!)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Getting well again by O.Carl Simonton, MD<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    • A must read for all cancer survivors and caregivers<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n
      • An intriguing analysis of the factors that contribute to high success<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        When things fall apart: heart advice for difficult times by Pema Chodron<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n
        • This book is an absolute gem, I don\u2019t even know how to describe it. Must read!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          Good Enough by Kate Bowler<\/span><\/p>\n

            \n
          • 40 reflections to combat the Rah! Rah! Guru culture and live a satisfied life (this book is changing my life!)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            All about love: New visions by bell hooks<\/span><\/p>\n

              \n
            • Love is it! hooks brilliantly describes a path towards a love ethic countering the lovelessness she witnessed.\u00a0 <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              Introduction Hello, blogreaders, oh how I\u2019ve missed you! It\u2019s so nice to spend some time together again, and boy do I have a treat for you today: reflections from writing my memoir, a memoir excerpt, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":972,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,4,60,49],"tags":[50,30,64,55],"class_list":["post-971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-brene-brown-inspiration","category-cancer-journey","category-glioblastoma","category-imagination","tag-brain-cancer","tag-cancer","tag-resilience","tag-terminal-cancer"],"yoast_head":"\n"After" Cancer - Cheryl Rostek<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Cheryl Rostek's post brilliantly shows that there can never be an "after" to cancer, however there can be a resilient path forwards.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""After" Cancer - Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Cheryl Rostek's post brilliantly shows that there can never be an "after" to cancer, however there can be a resilient path forwards.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Cheryl Rostek\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/authorcherylrostek\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-04-22T19:49:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"CherylRostekBlog\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"CherylRostekBlog\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"CherylRostekBlog\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/b0217b08333082baf840b17c8b91f0ba\"},\"headline\":\"“After” Cancer\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-04-22T19:49:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":837,\"commentCount\":1,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"brain cancer\",\"cancer\",\"resilience\",\"terminal cancer\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Brene Brown inspiration\",\"Cancer Journey\",\"glioblastoma\",\"Imagination\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/\",\"name\":\"\\\"After\\\" Cancer - Cheryl Rostek\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-04-22T19:49:26+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/b0217b08333082baf840b17c8b91f0ba\"},\"description\":\"Cheryl Rostek's post brilliantly shows that there can never be an \\\"after\\\" to cancer, however there can be a resilient path forwards.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg\",\"width\":1080,\"height\":1080},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/04\\\/22\\\/after-cancer\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"“After” Cancer\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Cheryl Rostek - Glioblastoma Survivor, Author and Cancer Coach\",\"description\":\"Finding Hope in the Hopeless and Impossible Situations of Life\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cherylrostek.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/b0217b08333082baf840b17c8b91f0ba\",\"name\":\"CherylRostekBlog\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/6e4c1e04fadc4727394f025b82681efe8cbe6e1ee91e05dc7533352bd5d79a7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/6e4c1e04fadc4727394f025b82681efe8cbe6e1ee91e05dc7533352bd5d79a7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/6e4c1e04fadc4727394f025b82681efe8cbe6e1ee91e05dc7533352bd5d79a7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"CherylRostekBlog\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/www.cherylrostek.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\"After\" Cancer - Cheryl Rostek","description":"Cheryl Rostek's post brilliantly shows that there can never be an \"after\" to cancer, however there can be a resilient path forwards.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\"After\" Cancer - Cheryl Rostek","og_description":"Cheryl Rostek's post brilliantly shows that there can never be an \"after\" to cancer, however there can be a resilient path forwards.","og_url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/","og_site_name":"Cheryl Rostek","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/authorcherylrostek\/","article_published_time":"2022-04-22T19:49:26+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1080,"height":1080,"url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"CherylRostekBlog","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"CherylRostekBlog","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/"},"author":{"name":"CherylRostekBlog","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b0217b08333082baf840b17c8b91f0ba"},"headline":"“After” Cancer","datePublished":"2022-04-22T19:49:26+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/"},"wordCount":837,"commentCount":1,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg","keywords":["brain cancer","cancer","resilience","terminal cancer"],"articleSection":["Brene Brown inspiration","Cancer Journey","glioblastoma","Imagination"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/","url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/","name":"\"After\" Cancer - Cheryl Rostek","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg","datePublished":"2022-04-22T19:49:26+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b0217b08333082baf840b17c8b91f0ba"},"description":"Cheryl Rostek's post brilliantly shows that there can never be an \"after\" to cancer, however there can be a resilient path forwards.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/20220421_163105_0000_2.jpg","width":1080,"height":1080},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/22\/after-cancer\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"“After” Cancer"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/","name":"Cheryl Rostek - Glioblastoma Survivor, Author and Cancer Coach","description":"Finding Hope in the Hopeless and Impossible Situations of Life","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b0217b08333082baf840b17c8b91f0ba","name":"CherylRostekBlog","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6e4c1e04fadc4727394f025b82681efe8cbe6e1ee91e05dc7533352bd5d79a7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6e4c1e04fadc4727394f025b82681efe8cbe6e1ee91e05dc7533352bd5d79a7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6e4c1e04fadc4727394f025b82681efe8cbe6e1ee91e05dc7533352bd5d79a7f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"CherylRostekBlog"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.cherylrostek.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=971"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/971\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":974,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/971\/revisions\/974"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cherylrostek.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}