Wonderfully made

Today I marvel at how wonderfully I’ve been made. I kinda thought my body, my immune system, had let me down allowing cancer to set up a proliferating camp in my brain, but perhaps I’m the one who let her down – pushing myself to extremes, berating her when she ill-performed and ill-conformed, letting society’s dubious relationship with bodies take center stage instead of being grateful for all the places my body takes me and how she sustains me. Or, maybe cancer just *is* and I needn’t be so concerned on why.

Marvels of Cell Biology

Regardless, as I was running today, I marveled at how my legs carried me, not just the muscles attached to the bones and the tendons and ligaments that make sure I don’t fall apart, but the nitty gritty of it all. The micro community that exists within every single cell in my body. (bear with me for nerding out here, perhaps my university days studying molecular biology aren’t as interesting to you as they were to me…). Every cell in our bodies has not only a membrane to function as a gatekeeper and a cytoskeleton to keep it’s shape. It also has a mitochondrion to power the cellular functions, a golgi apparatus to package and direct proteins to their proper spot in the cell, a lysosome garbage processor, a nucleus headquarters with the nucleolus headquarters within the headquarters. All of this and more in Every. Single. Cell. (Can’t you see why I found this so fascinating!!!!)

Gratitude

Gratitude is always a good policy. I’m not entirely sure why my gratitude flew off the charts today. Maybe it’s my recent dive into topics like intentionally living moments like they might be my last, as discussed in the book 4000 weeks by Oliver Burkeman (for example as you engage in mundane life you remember that this could be the last time I walk, last time I see the sun glistening through the trees, last time my fingers plunk out a composition, last time my daughter welcomes me into her bed, the last time my son fits on my lap.) These aren’t all due to potential failing health, but rather the natural aging course of life. Things change. Kids grow up. Health falters.

Shady Solace

Furthermore, (as I posted on Social media last week) I have found tremendous solace in hanging out in the shady spots of life inclusive of words like finite (1) dark (2) dying (3) and bittersweet (4) . Befriending these words and all they embody is not depressing, it’s turning and facing reality square in the face. And when we turn and face our ‘enemies’ they lose their power (5). *This* is how we can prevail in the end (6).

Maybe this is why thankfulness reverberates within me so deeply that I’m sure my mitochondria can feel it?

Whatever the reason, perhaps you too want to join me today in thanking your body for all it does, however you are able: by taking it for a walk, or a dance or a stretch or by breathing intentionally with gratitude.

As for me, the post-run sweat stinging my eyes feels glorious.

xo
Cheryl

Notes:

1. “Finitude” is discussed extensively in Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks: time management for mortals. (I highly recommend this book for everyone!!!)
2.”Learning to Walk in the Dark” by Barbara Brown Taylor is an excellent account of the downsides of “full solar spirituality” and the benefits of keeping the lights off.
3. The Lost Art of Dying by MD L.S. Dugdale discusses that “the art of dying well starts with the art of living well.” Furthermore, dying well should be ever on our minds, not shoved aside from our discomfort, which in turn helps us live well. A fascinating read!
4. Bittersweet by Susan Cain is a must read for any melancholic souls out there
5. This is a concept I learned from Buddhist monk Pema chodron in When Things Fall Apart
6. James Stockdale’s quote ” You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” remains my favorite since I first read it. It bears repeating over and over.