“See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streamsin the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19

 My beautiful friend shared this verse with me.  She created a lovely box for me and in it she has pretty cards with verses nicely scribed.  Regularly she sneaks a couple more cards to me.  This one arrived yesterday via delivery by her husband.  I couldn’t share this verse without also mentioning how I am so blessed with treasured friendship.

 This verse is meaningful to me as I am getting so very tired. Even now as I want to write lovely prose, my words just seem clunky.  So be it.  I will not worry about style here, so I can still share a few moments and pieces of my life in the past week. Saturday I felt like I barely made it through the day.  I was so glad when bedtime (both the kids’s and mine!) rolled around and I could sleep away the awfulness of the babies crying and the exhaustion that I felt.  It’s still a bit of a learning game around our family to figure out what works for making life manageable on days when we don’t have our nanny or Ryan’s mom around.  So the promise of the above verse of refreshment of “streams in the wasteland” is so very satisfying.  It is hard to spend less and less time helping around home and playing with the kids.  It is hard to feel like my days are so short because they end so early.  It is hard to feel like I’m back when the twins were wee-little and I couldn’t even think of going out in the evening.  (Now I am making some plans, and hoping daytime rest will afford me the energy to enjoy them….).

 Sunday I spoke with my mom.  She asked how things were going.  Her response was so perfect.  I simply shared that Saturday was awful around our house.  As she inquired more, she replied “so your symptoms or side effects aren’t getting worse?”  No, indeed family life has it’s challenges as I get more tired (and the twins are ever so demanding); but, overall I am still doing really very good.  Sometimes, I get a touch of mild headache, but nothing noteworthy.  My vision is a bit off, but if I wear glasses instead of contacts it doesn’t bother me.  Today I was a bit nauseous after getting up with the kids (which I wanted to do….amazing that a couple days of not getting up with them and I actually want to get up at 6:30!…..Thank you Garrett for sleeping past 5:30!) and then driving to and from treatment.  I will just have to keep preparing to do even less and less over the next couple weeks. My fatigue is expected to be at its max 2 weeks after treatment is finished.

 Thanksgiving and Praises:

       Only 4 more treatments left!!!!! (it’s a countdown!!!)

       Being offered a beautiful place to retreat to weekly! I’m so grateful.  If you think to pray for me Thursdays, this will be my “retreat” day to recharge and hopefully pen some meaningful words.

       All the people praying, the messages keep trickling in and I am so grateful for all the love and support we have been shown.

       The food that has restocked our freezer yet again! Thank you!

 Requests for prayer:

       When I get tired, as I am these days, it is more work to keep positive.  Pray for encouragement as the fatigue keeps rolling in.

       Figuring family dynamics with my decreased energy, but also energy that is somewhat unpredictable from day to day (prayer for Ryan as he carries much more of the parenting and household load).