I’m bubbling over here, my friends!  What a few weeks I’ve had.  God is speaking.  God is moving.  God is mighty. And thank God, because it’s a battlefield out there.  As you read my words remember that I struggle daily, just like you.  Indeed, my personal battle is waged daily in my heart and in my mind just as much as in my body.
This past week I’ve been feeling top-notch.  We’ve had so much support that I can just focus on being WELL even with our nanny away.  Thank you!!! (Insert jazzy hands right here). I am in a season where God is speaking to me that I need to learn how to rest.  Like really rest.  I am still clinging, grasping, clenching onto the control of what is left in my control.  I need to release it.  It is biblical and it is good for my health in all capacities to do so.  I am fighting this notion of rest.  I will share what I journalled this morning; but, I also want to let you know some background turmoil in my soul.  I had my MRI Monday, saw my oncologist Tuesday.  His impression, though he clearly stated he was awaiting the radiologist’s report, was no tumor growth.  Then today I got the call back: a small area of “enhancement”. My doctor’s impression is that this enhancement is residual swelling from the radiation, particularly given my fantastic well-being.  (My friend’s impression is that ‘enhancement’ means I now have a superpower! 😉  I knew this scan could give ambiguous results since swelling can’t be differentiated from tumor growth; however, it was still unnerving to hear these results.
After hearing the results emotion ensued, a conversation with Ryan occurred, Ryan prayed and followed it up with a “chin-up, live life fully no matter what it throws at you” pep talk.  And here I am evermore empowered and emboldened to share my heart, my life, my learning. 
It’s a battlefield out there people.  It’s a war zone.  Satan is trying to steal our joy.  I firmly believe he is and he is waging the war starting in our minds.  Our minds are a powerhouse when properly fitted for battle.  So let’s fit them properly! 

Ephesians 6:10-18New Living Translation (NLT)

The Whole Armor of God 

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[b] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[c] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[
Put on your armor!!!! My friends, you who love Jesus, PUT ON YOUR ARMOR! Put this armor on so you can be equipped to really love as we are called to do.  My comrades, its going to be a hard battle.  The battle for a fulfilled life is not an easy one.  I get it. At least I’m starting to.  In Matthew 7 Jesus tells us, 13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy[a]that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”
I let Jesus’ words speak for themselves because they are clear and wise.  I exhort you to seek out their wisdom.  You see, we all have numbered days.  Cancer clarifies and highlights this in my life.  (I hope you don’t have to have cancer to clearly see this.)  I remind you again that we’re in a battle.  We have numbered days.  We need to make them count.  We need to throw off the junk. That’s the sin that so easily entangles us that Hebrews 12 talks about: pride, control, fear etc. (those are my life examples).  Throw them off and claim truth!  Say truth outloud (mine right now is from Joshua 1:9 – through out the day I say outloud “I am strong, I am courageous, God is with me wherever I go.”) Say it outloud so you believe it.  Say it outloud so Satan can know he can scram! (There’s a cotton patch version of Matthew and it has Jesus say “Scram satan” when Satan is tempting him.  I love it.)

I believe right now I am to be in a season of rest.  It is a training ground allowing space for passions to incubate.  You are my comrades here.  I encourage you to join me.  My friend stated the other night that he wished for the personal, internal, spiritual growth he hears me speak of, without the cancer part.  I hear you!  And that is why I embrace you all in my journey.  That is why I fight the notion that I don’t necessarily have anything profoundly new to say; and rather share with you my experiences.  That is why I say: “Lean into Jesus with me like you have never done before.  Throw off the junk and let’s see God move spectacularly, profoundly, majestically, supernaturally – (there’s not one word to describe it)!!!”