I’ve decided I need to rip a page out of my daughter’s playbook. With no lead-in tonight at bedtime she asked, “what do they do if a kid gets cancer?” In our house we know the value of facing truth sensitively, but head-on. So, I told her that treatment is often more limited for kids. “Does cancer hurt, mom?” She asked. I told her that I have never had any pain from my cancer, but that her Grandma (my mom) had alot of pain from the damage her cancer did to her bones. I assured her there are medicine to lessen any pain and that we have really good cancer doctors.

no pause just the next statement that came from her lips: ” I really like going to the waterslides. It’s fun isn’t it mom?”

Yes, it is; life is full of fun and full of not-fun, my dear sweet child.

The simplicity of a 5 year old’s words were just what I needed tonight.  I snuggled her as much as she allowed and kissed that beautiful head more than usual and let her stay up late to lengthen the moment.  She had no idea what news I had just heard; but, her presence helped cut through the heaviness that a brain cancer contact I had made upon diagnosis just got big (tumor size), bad (inoperable tumor location) news.  This is my real life folks. There’s no hiding it and at times like this it gets frightening.

So I turn on Lauren Daigle, “trust in you” and remember that there’s cancer in my life, in my head in fact; but there is A BIG mighty powerful and faithful God who holds it all steady. Steady, so I can get to dreaming with my daughter about June when the waterslides open again.